Negotiation Starts Long Before ‘The Table’
“The most important parts of a negotiation often happen before the first offer is even made.”
At Sheer Negotiations, we often challenge the popular image of a negotiation: two parties at a table, offers and counter-offers flying. While that moment matters, the most strategic negotiators know that the real negotiation begins well before the formal conversation starts. Preparation isn’t just about facts and figures—it’s about narrative, agency, and positioning.
Locus of Control: Who Holds ‘The Pen’?
In 1966, psychologist Julian Rotter introduced the concept of Locus of Control, referring to the degree to which individuals believe they have control over the events in their lives. People with an internal locus believe outcomes are shaped by their own actions; those with an external locus attribute outcomes to fate or other people’s control.
Negotiation success often begins with cultivating an internal locus. If we wait to be "invited" to the negotiation table, we give away power. But if we shape the narrative early—through positioning, building rapport, aligning interests, and raising topics proactively—we gain influence. This is where the best negotiators work their magic: upstream.
Research-backed insight: A meta-analysis in Psychological Bulletin (Judge et al., 2002) found that people with an internal locus of control perform significantly better in leadership, job satisfaction, and career success. Unsurprisingly, these same characteristics drive negotiation outcomes.
Wondering What Your Own Locus of Control Might Be?
We’ve taken Rotter’s 29 Questions and created a Q&A form that you can complete to determine your score, and where you may lie on Locus of Control scale.
Designing Your Negotiation Narrative: Curating the Relationship
Every negotiation lives inside a story: how the parties see each other, what they’ve done before, and what they expect. You are either designing that narrative—or defaulting to one created by others.
Rather than thinking of negotiation as a discrete event, think of it as part of an evolving storyline. Smart negotiators take early opportunities to frame the relationship. Are you a problem-solver? A collaborator? A challenger of the status quo? Consider how your emails, conversations, and positioning shape that perception—months before the formal negotiation begins.
In Negotiation Genius, Malhotra and Bazerman emphasize the importance of shaping expectations and norms before terms are discussed. Doing this effectively can create psychological commitments and legitimacy that influence the negotiation when it formally begins.
The Pre-Table Advantage: Practical Tactics to Prime The Negotiation
Here are a few methods Sheer Negotiations teaches to build influence long before the “official” talk:
Stakeholder Mapping: Identify and understand influencers early.
Soft Conditioning: Use offhand comments or informal conversations to seed concepts or boundaries.
Interest Signaling: Ask strategic questions that highlight shared goals and uncover potential areas for value.
Framing: Position the issue within a context that suits your strengths and goals.
The Strategic Takeaway
When we act early, we claim more than just value—we shape it. This mindset demands curiosity, patience, and the confidence to influence dynamics over time.
It pays to start thinking strategically about a negotiation well in advance. If you know it's coming, take the opportunities to 'set the scene' and increase your likelihood of success.
In this sense, the negotiation starts well before we reach the negotiation table.
Share this Content on Social Media