Can a Negotiation Be Fair?

Fairness is one of the most powerful—and problematic—forces in negotiation. While everyone wants a “fair deal,” few agree on what that actually means.

Fairness is Not Objective

Cognitive biases shape how we perceive fairness:

  • Social Comparison: We judge our outcomes against others, not our own needs.

  • Self-Serving Bias: We interpret fairness in a way that justifies our own positions.

  • Endowment Effect: We overvalue what we already have or have “earned.”

Academic research supports this complexity. In a Journal of Economic Perspectives article (Loewenstein et al., 1989), the authors showed that even when offered objectively equal outcomes, people perceived them as unfair if expectations weren’t met or comparisons were unfavorable.

Relationship Fairness > Transactional Fairness

In long-term relationships, fairness isn’t measured in single transactions. It’s relational. Reciprocity might occur across months or even years. This means it’s often unreasonable to demand equal give-and-take in each moment.

This is where negotiators go wrong—insisting on symmetrical fairness, when the other party is thinking relationally. In Negotiation Genius, the authors argue that understanding the “moral and social context” is often more important than splitting dollars.

Framing Matters

Fairness is framed by how the issue is presented. A 10% discount sounds generous. But if your competitor got 15%, it feels unfair. This phenomenon was demonstrated in Kahneman and Tversky’s work on Prospect Theory (Econometrica, 1979): outcomes are evaluated relative to a reference point, not in absolute terms.

Our Approach at Sheer Negotiations

We teach clients to:

  • Pre-frame the deal to set expectations.

  • Acknowledge emotions and perceptions explicitly.

  • Use comparative data to justify fairness (rights-based).

  • Separate fairness from equality—aim for equity and mutual satisfaction.

  • Anchoring as a perception tactic. 

  • Exploring how much the parties truly value each negotiable issue to truly understand how value should be allocated. 

Ultimately, fairness is a perception, not a principle. And perceptions are malleable.

Final Thought

If you want to manage fairness, manage expectations. If you want to honour fairness, understand interests. And if you want to lead fairness, design processes that respect both.

Noa Sheer