You Don’t Negotiate Like You Lead; But You Should
What senior leaders are doing differently, and why it’s changing everything
One of the most interesting things I’ve observed over the past few years is a quiet behavioural divide emerging in leadership circles, not based on personality or style, but on how leaders approach negotiation.
Some are beginning to treat it as a discipline.
Others still treat it as a discussion.
And the results, commercially and culturally, are diverging.
I’m not referring to how well someone communicates or how confidently they speak. I’m talking about the way certain leaders prepare, design, and steer their negotiations with the same rigour they bring to strategic planning, financial modelling, and organisational design.
It’s striking once you notice it.
And it’s a skill wanted by more and more respected and effective executives.
What they do differently
When these leaders approach a major negotiation; be it a contract, partnership, restructure, or internal resource allocation; their mindset is very different.
They don’t rely on improvisation or instinct.
They don’t treat the conversation as something to “handle.”
They plan.
They map the stakeholders involved, including those behind the scenes.
They identify not just what each party wants, but why it matters.
They define their own walkaway points and those of others.
They scenario-test different ways to structure the conversation.
They prepare offers, not just responses, that bundle outcomes in deliberate, value-focused ways.
None of this is accidental. It takes time, thought, and coordination. But it’s now a movement inside some of the most high-functioning leadership environments I’ve seen, particularly in banking, energy, finance, and large-scale infrastructure.
The shift is subtle, but powerful
What’s interesting is that these leaders don’t necessarily think of themselves as “great negotiators.”
They think of themselves as responsible decision-makers. People whose job it is to see clearly, communicate deliberately, and create durable outcomes under pressure.
The fact that they are also strong negotiators is, in some ways, a side effect of that mindset.
They prepare in order to understand.
They structure in order to lead.
They negotiate in a way that reflects how they lead elsewhere: with clarity, intent, and perspective.
Why it stands out
What strikes me most is the contrast, between those who lead negotiations, and those who simply attend them.
The former carry the negotiation like a project: scoped, designed, and led. The latter show up hoping it goes well.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with being the latter. But what I’m seeing is that more and more executives are becoming the former. And in doing so, they’re quietly reshaping what negotiation means at senior levels.
It’s no longer the domain of bravado or instinct. It’s becoming a core leadership capability, reflected in how leaders think, prepare, and collaborate in the lead-up to a conversation.
And like any other capability, those who develop it early tend to find themselves ahead.
It’s not about charisma. It’s about structure.
This movement isn’t loud. But it’s happening.
One conversation at a time, I see leaders sitting down with their teams to walk through the bargaining mix, prepare for counterpart priorities, frame their messaging, and model trade-offs in advance.
They don’t just prepare what they’ll say.
They prepare how they’ll say it, and why.
And the difference that makes - to their confidence, their credibility, and their outcomes - is enormous.
Sometimes, the person across the table doesn’t even realise how carefully the process was designed.
They simply experience a conversation that feels calm, clear, and constructive.
And that’s precisely the point.
The standard is shifting
Where negotiation was once seen as something innate, a matter of instinct or persuasion, it’s now being treated, in many places, as a strategic process.
And in those places, leaders are gaining not just better agreements, but better internal alignment, stronger cross-functional relationships, and a reputation for clarity under pressure.
It’s not a revolution everyone’s talking about. But it’s one that’s well underway.
And those who are part of it? They already know what I’m describing.